Thursday, June 23, 2016

How I Fell in Love with Dogs #GuideDogs

First, I need to say that I have an animal-phobia, so I can't touch animals, even though I love watching them so much.


I work as a part-time teaching and research assistant with a Lecturer, who is visually impaired. She has a trained guide dog, who is one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever seen. The dog is so smart, tender and doesn't make any noise. She eats at specific times and sleeps as long as her owner is working. The dog understands very well that when she is on her harness, this means that she is working now, so she has to lead her owner, and not try to play with anyone.

At first, I was scared, but now, this dog loves me. She looks for me when we are walking, to make sure that all her group is walking behind her, she plays with me and tries to kiss me. I still do not touch her, but I love her so much.

These guide dogs are trained by guidedogs.co.uk charity. The organization breeds them from specific breeds, like the Labrador, because they are smart and love people, and then sponsors them from birth to death, even when the dog is with an owner. The total costs of the dog throughout his/her life is about £50,000.

I am so fond of this organization and the role it plays. People can donate and sponsor a certain puppy on their website, starting from £1/week. The organization sends donors the puppy's photos that they are sponsoring, so that each person can see their sponsored puppy throughout his/her life. 

When I see a guide dog now, I feel happy and I am not afraid anymore. Thanks to this special dog that made me love her, and all her co-guide dogs. This is a photo of the dog I am sponsoring, Biscuit. I am donating a very trivial amount to Biscuit every month. Since I cannot actually adopt any pets, therefore, I consider Biscuit my puppy, who is going to live with someone else, for a better cause. 



I believe that we all have needs, but some people have needs that cannot be self-fulfilled. The people with special needs deserve to lead a normal live. Animals also deserve to live well, be happy and feel that that people love them and the role they play. 

If you want to help, please visit guidedogs.co.uk. You will get a very cool certificate like this. But more importantly, you will be helping a puppy, and a person who is visually impaired.



I definitely wish that one day there will be a similar organization like Guide Dogs in Egypt. Even though I think some of the trained guide dogs are sent to developing countries, but I totally believe that the respect and support for people with special needs in Egypt have to increase, so that they are enabled to live normally, purposefully and happily.


Friday, April 1, 2016

When Ethics and Common Sense Should First Guide Research, before Empirical Evidence or Theory: “Flirt Like Sue!”


As an LSE alumna from the Department of Management, I receive email notifications when new blog posts are posted on the department’s blog. Most of the times I dismiss the emails, but this time, the title was too interesting not to dismiss. The snippet from the email read “If flirting makes assertive women more likable, does it also result in better outcomes in negotiations?” The blog post by Dr. Connson Locke was based on her co-authored research paper titled “Feminine Charm: An Experimental Analysis of Its Costs and Benefits in Negotiations” published in 2012.

Since I am a PhD student, therefore, I consider myself a researcher. But to respond to this blog post, I am not going to fully put on my researcher’s hat, but rather my sarcastic feminist blogger’s hat. I am not going to write about how theories contradict with or conform to what came in the blog post or paper. I am going to bore you a bit about my idea of the appropriateness of research on this topic in the first place.

The blog post comes up with ideas like “there is reason to believe that flirtation might be a useful negotiation tactic”. To overcome stereotyping of a masculine white-male dominated corporate culture, a woman could “soften her image and be more influential, a female negotiator could potentially use flirtation.” I thought stereotyping can be fought in other ways? Hmm… well the author clearly identifies flirting as a tactic, she says “flirtation can be an effective tactic but only if it is enacted with skill!”

For the “charming” research paper, the authors find that “the degree to which flirtatiousness was conveyed over and above friendliness predicted better economic deals for female negotiators”. This is an important finding, but how does the paper handle it? “Feminine charm appears to be a uniquely feminine technique for managing negotiator impressions, increasing the proverbial negotiating pie, and, depending on its balance of friendliness and flirtatiousness, determining how resources are divided between the sexes”.

I posted a comment on the blog that this research centers on the objectification of women and research should not be driven by non-ethical Machiavellian approaches. I am not sure this comment is going to be published or not. I don’t really care to be honest, because in this age, everyone has his/her own social media platform to respond.
  
It is no wonder that Dr Locke and her colleagues didn’t find much literature about flirtation in the workplace, because things like that can be found in the what-not-to-do-at-work handbooks that I would personally write before giving out to employees I manage. To clarify, I am not against researching flirtation as a way of understanding how people use it to compensate for their lack of persuasive negotiation skills to achieve specific outcomes, and discussing how to use other methods in the workplace to replace this phenomenon. It is common-sense to me that men can be allured by women and seduced in the workplace, and it is also common-sense that it can backfire and not always produce the best results, because it depends on the playful man being manipulated by the woman! So, the hassle of doing experiments to tell women that they can flirt to negotiate better is not a new finding, but rather a new daring way of calling out for this to be used more, because it turned out that it is statistically significant to flirt!

To talk about flirtation as a skill deepens my disgust at the objectification of women, picturing them as inefficient managers/employees/negotiators who are unable to achieve outcomes in their workplace without using their body language as a persuasive tool. Even though the paper mentions that flirtation can compensate for the stereotyping of women as being bad negotiators, it actually deepens this stereotyping even more. It is insulting not only to women, but also to the idea of doing business or achieving anything in that manner, using what the authors called “skill”!

The other problem that is evident in the paper is the way the researchers conducted one of the experiments by giving out two scenarios to people and asked for their response.

Participants read a hypothetical scenario where they were asked to imagine that they were selling a car (worth US$1,200) to a potential buyer named Sue. They were told that they were about to meet the buyer, who had indicated a desire to purchase the vehicle pending the results of a test drive.
We manipulated the presence or absence of feminine charm by varying the buyer’s behavior in the scenario. Participants in the feminine charm condition read,

As you meet and shake hands, Sue smiles at you warmly and says, “What a pleasure to meet you” You chat about the weather as Sue takes off her coat and sits down. Looking you up and down, Sue leans forward, briefly touches your arm and says, “You’re even more charming in person than over email.” Then, somewhat playfully, she winks at you and says, “What’s your best price?”

Participants in the neutral style condition read,

“As you meet and shake hands, Sue smiles and says, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You chat about the weather as Sue takes off her coat and sits down. Looking you directly in the eye, Sue says, “I’m looking forward to talking over the financials with you and hopefully working out a deal today. Let’s get down to business.” Then, somewhat seriously, she says, “What’s your best price?”



As a female myself, I wouldn’t use these two approaches at all! The first one is completely inappropriate and cheap for doing to someone I am meeting for the first time. In some societies, these words can be considered a signal for further “stuff” and men can start harassing or coming after women after this signal is given.  The second scenario is not friendly for neither men nor women, and it is not “neutral” as the authors say. The attitude is clearly unfriendly or too straightforward that people can hardly get any good negotiations out of it.

If it were me, I would be friendly and “reasonable”! I grew up in a society that has 99% of its women physically and verbally harassed in the streets or at work on daily basis. Many females in my society actually wish they were men so that they wouldn’t have to go through ordeals of being scared wherever they go or because of whatever they say. I learnt how to be masculine in the way I walk in the streets, but also friendly with people who I should be friendly with. I wonder if flirtation is a valid “skill” in a context like mine for example, if it is something women has to use to even make themselves feel worse about their bodies and “charm”, and increase the possibility of their own harassment by males who “misinterpret” flirtation!!

Even though the paper is academically, methodologically and theoretically sound, its underlying concept and message is simplified directly in the blog post by one of its authors: “Hey women, flirt skillfully to get what you need, flirt like Sue!” The paper is a very diplomatic and academic way to tell women that “We found something magical about you that you can use to get a better salary or selling price!” I wonder what can be the future research suggestions for such a paper or blog post, maybe whether flirtatious women are more successful because of their “skill”, or whether non-flirtatious women are doomed to be bad negotiators because they are not Machiavellian and have a high degree of self-respect, or even whether sex and drugs at work can help close business deals!

My aim out of this blog post is to really think what we seek to get out of research. Is it a mechanistic publication tool to be promoted, express opinions, understand societies, be creative, think out-of-the-box, etc.? Everyone has a goal out of writing or reading research, but what does the world need? My understanding of research is that it should contribute to a better world, where “better” here contains -among other traits- equality, mutual-respect, ethics, and empowerment. In my opinion and with all due respect to the authors, these outcomes cannot be achieved with research on Sue and her flirtation, unfortunately.




In a nutshell, I believe the world needs more ethical research that seeks to achieve a better understanding of the world’s problems, and hence, people and research can work on solving them. 

Friday, March 4, 2016

Mary and Max

I watched "Mary and Max" movie today. I learnt three things:

1- I don't have to feel I need to fix the world.

2- We are all imperfect and we have to live with that.

3- Sometimes the people we feel sorry for and feel so sad about might be content with their lives and not as miserable as we think. They might accept who they are more than we, the more capable people, accept who we are. We can't carry people's burdens on their behalf.



Saturday, February 6, 2016

Valentine's Special: Poem #409 & a Comic!

Regardless of the fact that I am not a big fan of the consumerism shown in occasions like feasts and valentine’s and mother’s day, I still like to be sarcastic and write about things!

This year, I decided to do two things on Valentine’s day. First, this comic, which I snipped off the lovely movie Frozen by Disney. I mean, let’s laugh because why shouldn’t we!



And the second thing is going back again to publishing my poetry, which I used to publish on this blog when I first started it in 2008 and onwards. So I publish here my first poem in 2016; my poem #409 in a list of inexpert amateur poems I’ve written in different occasions since I was 12.
 -------------

Never Felt Luckier


I don't think I've ever found something,
That helped ease my troubled thinking,
That pushed and encouraged me while,
Wiping my tears, making me smile…

I have never found a person where I,
Felt always proud that he is my guy,
Because his pride in me raised me up,
His laughs and jokes cheered me up…

I have never felt luckier about finding,
A person or even any material thing,
Except when I found him, I realized,
That life can still make me surprised…

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Why Is It Hard to Confess Depression?

In an Eastern society, like the one in which we have been raised, anyone who suffers mental health problems is considered “crazy” and is mocked at. Mental health issues are rarely acknowledged in public, and even in private, because friends and families fail to appreciate the conditions of a troubled person. For example, a depressed person could be seen as someone who is just suffering a mood change, and friends would try to give some pep talk. Some religious people consider depression, anxiety, or trauma as signs of being away from God.

While depression itself is a medical condition, ranging from mild to severe, just like cancer, depressed people try to hide away from their society, which is usually the main cause of depression. It is not a surprise that depression is spread in a society where so many reasons battle to pull us down. Depressed people usually have reasons for what they feel. We live in a world where killing and injustice have become as easy as catching the flu, where people have to risk their lives in a sea in order to seek refuge, where dishonesty, lies and betrayal are the most common habits, where death is viewed as the “rest” from the troubled life, and where helplessness and neglect are the ways to keep your sanity. How are we supposed to keep our mind guilt-free and sober? Isn’t the mind an organ, just like any other organ in our bodies that gets injured and needs cure?  

A depressed person might find it hard to describe how s/he feels, because symptoms would always make the person seem gloomy and boring in the eyes of others. Therefore, depressed people tend to shut themselves away from the world, surviving on a low energy level, and avoiding confrontation. How would they be able to describe the black cloud they constantly fight in order to get out of bed? How would they justify that they don’t see a good-enough reason to live despite how successful they might be viewed by societal measures? How would the surrounding community comprehend that depressed people puts so much effort in order to get the tiniest tasks done?



The society usually slaughters “negative” thoughts through clichés about hope, life, beauty, and sometimes religion. While depression isn’t about negative thoughts only or about being away from God, many sometimes tend to blame the depressed person rather than approaching with tenderness and warmth. Understanding depression, as a disease, is somehow like understanding how cancer works in our bodies; it takes a lot of details, symptoms and therapy. While physical and mental diseases differ, they are still diseases and a sick person would prefer love and understanding over blame. You can easily blame your child for walking into cold weather unprepared and hence catching a cold, the same way you can blame a depressed person for facing a trauma s/he wasn’t prepared for. The two situations aren’t necessarily the same, because there aren’t really certain precautions that protect you from “catching” depression.

I am not a psychiatrist, but I know very well that a hug can cure so much pain. Understanding, appreciation and the existence of love, altogether have the ability to nourish the heart and mind that died out of the world’s hatred and severity. Depression is irreversible because it leaves a scar in a person, but unconditional love has the ability to lift that person up, in order to make him/her aware of better reasons to live for (if such reasons exist in the first place).

Saturday, November 28, 2015

[Blog Post for #RHULSust] On Humanity, Poverty & Measurements

A blog post I co-authored for the Royal Holloway Sustainability blog #RHULSust, on the development talk by Sabina Alkire at CumberlandLodge, that took place on 23 November 2015.

On Humanity, Poverty & Measurements


excerpts:

"On Monday 23rd of November 2015, we attended a Cumberland Conversation event with Professor Sabina Alkire at Cumberland Lodge. Sabina directs the Oxford Poverty and Human Development Initiative (OPHI), and has worked extensively on multidimensional poverty measurement and analysis, founded mainly on the Capability Approach and concepts of human development. OPHI aims to promote diverse voices on poverty, focusing on the importance of measurements, which help prioritise poverty in politicians’ agendas.

.........

However, the MPI methodology and numbers were not the only things we learned from the Cumberland Conversation. It was inspiring for us, as young researchers ourselves, to see how impactful research can be on the ground, and how humanitarian research can be. Despite barriers to data collection, funding, and lack of data in certain areas, research can still hold a global vision and be used for the welfare and development of each and every citizen of the world."

Sunday, June 21, 2015

ماهينور المناضلة


ماهينور ... هي أه صاحبتنا اللي دمها خفيف وبتقلش وبتهزر وبتحب السمك والأكل.. 
صاحبتنا اللي بتحب الألوان والحلقان وبتتصور صور غريبة..
صاحبتنا اللي عندها انكار ذات وقدرة على جلد الذات أكتر من أي حد ممكن تقابله...


إنما ماهينور هي أهم مناضلة سكندرية دلوقتي ومفيش حد يقدر يختلف على ده..
هي اللي الناس في أي موقف بيسمعوا كلامها ويتلموا حواليها ويهتفوا وراها..
هي اللي الناس كلها بتحترم علمها وأخلاقها ..
هي اللي دايما بتبهر الكل بشخصيتها وثقافتها وقدرتها على احتواء ومحبة الغير..
هي اللي بيخاف منها كل الأنظمة الظالمة..
هي اللي بتعرف تحب وتعذر الكل حتى المختلفين عنها واللي ممكن يكونوا بيكرهوها..
هي اللي بتجبر الناس على احترامها في المحافل المحلية والدولية من غير حتى ما تتكلم...




ماهينور هي المناضلة بشخصيتها وبفكرها المختلف...
هي القوية المتفائلة الثائرة جدا على كل وضع غلط...
هي اللي بتزق الناس من غير أي مجهود إنهم مايسكتوش ع الغلط..
هي الصبورة، المتفانية، المحبوبة، المعطاءة...
هي الثورة وهي النور...