Sunday, November 29, 2009

[Poem] Not Sure If I Should Be Mad at You

Not Sure If I Should Be Mad at You
Poem #236
Written 29.11.09

I want to talk to you everyday,
But I don’t know what to say…
Not sure if I should be mad at you,
Or if I should feel much love for you,
I am confused; I hate what I’m in,
But I can’t forget what has been,
I love you more than life itself,
But sometimes I hate myself,
Now, I hate what you do to me,
I hate the way you treat me,
I feel you can’t take me anymore,
But you’re the only one I adore,
So how come you can’t love me?!
How come together we can’t be?!
But I know that time can fix it all;
Time is the greatest power of all,
I wish my heart can be unbroken,
I wish my love will be outspoken…


© Evronia Azer, 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

أبطال - Heroes

Whenever I watch a martyr film, I become inspired I almost cry..

"Where they afraid when they killed them? Did they cry? Were they so brave all the time?"
These questions often strike me when I watch the martyrs’ films and read about them. Many people say they don’t fear death, but when it is real, when it is REALLY happening, and not just normal peaceful death, when it’s painful bloody merciless we fear it? I know that martyrs didn’t have a doubt in their minds whether to die for God or not, but I am asking about the normal human instinct of fear..
I think they had to be really solid and extraordinarily brave, otherwise, they wouldn’t have been such a blessing to us in our lives..they wouldn’t have been able to do miracles and have such a favorable place in God's heart.

When I was young, watching martyrs' films didn’t affect me as much as it affects me now, maybe because now I value death more, and think highly of it, I used to watch the tormenting and excruciating and not cry although I was a little kid, but now, it has become very hard for me to do so. I might cry, it’s because I ask myself if I were them, would I do the same? And I find myself thinking that they are so much better than who we are, that they’re such different human beings, because they strived so hard, and fought endlessly, and I think to myself, I do wish to be like them... but things aren’t that easy!

If someone comes to your church and you’re there, and they say you have to get out of it, it will be closed, or they’d kill you..Would you get out and run for your life? Or stay there? We would all say for sure that we’ll stay there .. but I am not sure it’s what will happen if this situation happens, and it can happen! Martyrdom isn’t’s not over..

So my question is what kind of power they had, that we don’t, or at least some of us don’t, that made them endure this horrible excruciating. They certainly were in pain because they were humans, but were they happy amidst all this, knowing that they have achieved their ultimate purpose in life, which is Heaven? I am sure they didn’t regret it, but they must have had some sort of fear inside them..or maybe they didn’t.. this is what I am trying to know.. are we like them? Or are we of a different species? Do we have their courage? And if we don’t, why?!

I've always tried to write about martyrs; I wondered about their power, their strength and strong personalities..about their attitudes and courage..I had a whole lot of other questions to them..

But I failed to write something good, just what you are reading now. It was never complete...! For the first time, I couldn't express what I feel and I couldn't put my feelings into words. But luckily enough, we have great poets like our beloved Pope Shenouda III. In the poem below, he said exactly what I want to say and what I feel.. It is just more than great, that is why I want to share it with you; the original poem, not the hymns' version, from his book "The Release of the Spirit".


نظمت هذه القصيدة عام 1947
بقلم قداسة البابا شنودة الثالث
من كتاب انطلاق الروح - الطبعة الثالثة عشر 2005

إلي الأبطال الذين أدركوا سر الحياة الحقيقية فهتفوا من القديس بولس: لي الحياة هي المسيح والموت هو ربح. لي اشتهاء أن أنطلق وأكون مع المسيح ذاك أفضل جداً

نلتم الأمجاد فى دنيا ودين.. وهزأتم بالطغاة الملحدين
لم تموتوا أيها الأبطال بل.. قد سكنتم فى سمـاء الخالدين
لم يمت من قاوم الكفر ومن ..بيســـوع هز عرش الكافريـن
لم يمت من صار باستشهاد ..قدوة تبقى على مـر السنين
لم يمت من قدم الروح على.. مذبح الحق جريئـاً لا يلين
لم يمت كل غريب ههنـا.. مر بالدنيا مـــرور الزائـرين


عجبـاً كيف صمدتم للطغـاة.. فى ثبات أدهش الكــون مداه
أى شىء حبب الموت لكم ..هل رأيتم فيــه اكليل الحيـاة؟
أم بصرتم بيسـوع واقفا.. فى انتظار، فاستبقتم للقــاه ؟
أم سمعتم مثل همس الوحي من.. قد دعاكــم فاستجبتم لدعــاه؟
أم تذكرتم صليب الناصـرى.. ونسيتم كل شــىء ما عداه ؟
أم تخيلتم عمود الدين قد.. راح يهــــوي فاصطففتم لحمــاه ؟
أيما قد كان داعى الموت لم.. نستطع حسبانكم فى المائتيــن
لم تموتوا أيها الأبطال بل.. قد سكنتم فى سماء الخالديـن


هذه القوه فى غير انتهاء.. كيف جاءتكم جمـــوع الشهداء؟
أى سيف قد تسلحتم بــه.. أيها العـــزّل فى ساح الدمــاء؟
هل رأيتم فى دروع الأرض ما ..لم يلق يوما بأبناء السمـاء ؟
أم تسلحتـــم بقلب طاهــر.. ودعاء مستجــاب ورجـاء
وبإيمان قـــوى قادر.. يُرجع الموتـــى ويشفـى الضعفاء
ألهمونـا بعض تقواكم فقد.. أظلم الكـــــون وقل الأتقيـاء
وبقينـــا كلما نذكركم.. يخفق القلب ويدعو فى حنيــن:
لم تموتـوا أيها الأبطال بل.. قد سكنتم فى ســـماء الخالديـن

Saturday, November 21, 2009

سيد حجاب

الشاعر الكبير سيد حجاب

في اكتوبر 2004 حضرت عرض اوبرا مصري شعري عربي لسيد حجاب بمكتبة الاسكندرية
وبما اني من اشد المعجبين بأشعاره وكتاباته وتلاعبه بالكلمات ونغماتها، فكنت مبهورة جداً بالعرض

ولحسن حظي، وفي قمة اندهاشي واعجابي فوجئت بالشاعر الرائع سيد حجاب شخصيا حاضر معانا العرض
وبعد ما العرض انتهى كنت هاموت واروح اقوله قد ايه انا معجبة بأعماله وكان منها تتر مسلسل اسمه كناريا، كان جديد ساعتها
وطبعا انا تجمدت كالثلج مكنش عندي الشجاعه الكافية لأني مصدقتش اني شايفة سيد حجاب شخصياً قدامي!!!
وبعد زقتين من اختى رحت قلتله اني بحب كتاباته قوي ، وعشان يزود اعجابي بيه اكتر بصراحة ابهرني بمقابلته وترحيبه وتشجيعه لما عرف اني باكتب انا كمان شعر باللغة الانجليزية
بصراحة فرحنى جداً
وكانت من احلى الصدف اللي حصلتلي

للاسف ماتصورتش معاه
لكن شرفنى بامضائه على كتاب العرض اللي كان موجود اليوم ده في المكتبة

واداني الايميل بتاع مراته بس معرفش هل شاف القصيدة اللي انا بعتهاله اللي كتبتها مخصوص بعد ما شفته يومها

The Day I Met the Great Poet: Mr Sayed Hegab
Poem #87
Written 17.10.2004

It was a real wonderful time to spend,
With a perfect opera show to attend,
But the most important of all,
Was his presence in the hall…
Such a unique poet he is,
For his poetry is like a quiz;
Ordinary people can understand it,
See it as an earthshaking hit,
But if you look between the lines,
You’ll find some other signs,
That words thoughtfully express,
Which rhymes clarify and stress,
Reflecting how words can be pearls,
Until the mind spins and twirls…
Hegab’s poetry is certainly magical,
Deep, fabulous, philosophical,
Simple, strong and even sweet,
That no one in history can beat!
Before watching the opera, I knew,
That his brilliance was more than true,
But he was a poet I saw on TV,
Never thought he’d care to talk to me,
Yet, I realized I was totally wrong,
As with conversations he gets along,
He spoke modestly, very fatherly,
Encouragingly and lightheartedly…
And since then, I decided I must write,
To express my pride and utmost delight,
For there is such a fine great person,
Living on the same planet we live on!

© Evronia Azer, 2004. All Rights Reserved.

المهم ، انا النهارده افتكرت الموضوع ده معرفش ليه، وافتكرت شعر كناريا فحبيت احط كله على البلوج هنا

كناريا - تتر البداية
أشعار: سيد حجاب
ألحان: ياسر عبد الرحمن
غناء: على الحجار


دي دمعة من قلبي ع الخد جارية؟
ولا دي بسمة..نسمة ..في مسامي سارية؟
لا لا دي أرواح طاهرة طايرة ف براح
وذكرى عمر ف توهة وف توبة راح
يا قلبي عيش مع زقزقات الكناريا

بين دنيا دايرة جروحها في روحنا غايرة
وأماني فايرة بدنيا تانية مغايرة
فيه قِلة جايرة وقلة غايرة ومعايرة
والناس مسايرة وحايرة أو فاهمة قارية
ويا قلبي عيش مع زقزقات الكناريا

بين رهبة م التوهة وتوبة برغبة
سددنا ديننا وغيرنا أغني وأغبي
وقلوب مصاحبة الحق صاحية ومشاغبة
وقلوب تدوب ف قلوب ولا هي دارية
ويا قلبي عيش مع زقزقات الكناريا

كناريا - تتر النهاية
أشعار: سيد حجاب
ألحان: ياسر عبد الرحمن
غناء: على الحجار


يا زقزقات الكناريا
دنيتنا بايعة وشارية
فينا وبتصحي فينا
جروح ماضينا الدفينة
واحنا في توهة وهارية

دنيا شقى كلنا عيشها
والخوف راعشنا وراعشها
ووحوشها طيشها نعيشها
ونافشة ريشها وضارية
يا زقزقات الكناريا

عدوة ولا صديقة
يا دنيا ده الناس في ضيقة
بس الحقيقة المضيئة
أحكامها ع الكل سارية

امتى الوحوش في جحورها
يترد كيدها لنحورها
والدنيا تصفي بحورها
بين السمك والبساريا
يا زقزقات الكناريا

سيد حجاب.. من يداعب الكلمات والنغمات ويكتب أروعها وأعمقها.. شكرا

Friday, November 20, 2009

17 Centuries for MarMina's Martyrdom

تحتفل الكنيسة القبطية في 24 نوفمبر 2009، 15 هاتور 1726 بعيد استشهاد القديس العظيم مارمينا العجايبي

وهذا العام يمثل مرور 17 قرناً على استشهاد هذا القديس العظيم العجايبي، حبيبنا كلنا

شفاعته تكون معانا دايماً أمين

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Another Badge from Google to my Knol's Essay!

Today, I opened my essay on Knol and I found that I got another badge from Google for having the most visitors جائزة اعلى نسبة عرض :D

related post about this essay and Knol Oktob competition:

read my essay here (the link has Arabic fonts ;) ) :D

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

[Poem] I’d Fight the Whole World

I’d Fight the Whole World
Written 10.11.09

Why do you want me to leave you,
After all what I’ve been through for you?
Maybe you don’t know what I did or do,
But just trust one thing: I madly love you!
I’d fight the whole world to be with you,
I’d walk miles to make your wishes true,
I would even be glad to finally die for you,
Even if you think it’s something I can’t do,
But I want you to see my heart through,
All it ever wants is to be with only you…
You’re the only one I want to run to,
I wish one day my dream will be true…


© Evronia Azer, 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

[Poem] I Am Glad She Let You Go

I Am Glad She Let You Go
Poem #233
Written 7.11.09

She hurt you so badly, I know,
But I am glad she let you go,
She gave me a gift, not knowing,
All the love meant to be growing,
In my heart, filling, inspiring me…
Bringing out all the best in me...
So, I have thank her for letting you,
Be my life, my dreams come true…
I want to thank her for letting me,
Taste what it is like to be happy,
And feel about you the way I do…
But If she were in love with you,
I wouldn’t have known what I lost…
But my dreams would’ve been dust,
My soul would’ve died from sadness,
That’s why I’m now full of gladness…


© Evronia Azer, 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

[Poem] Melted into Your Existence

Melted into Your Existence
Poem #231
Written 5.11.09, 7.11.09

I’ve melted into your existence,
I am free of life’s resistance…
Without you there is no me,
Without you, life can never be,
In my dreams I always see you…
I’m flying, as I’m carried by you…
You drew life for me beautifully,
You’re an artist, acting so wisely,
Knowing the best to do, and how,
Truthful, never made a false vow,
Caring, enlightening all my days,
With a creative love in many ways…
If I ever wonder about anything,
You have the answers to everything,
You know how to do things right,
You know how to bring me delight…
I used to wonder, before I met you,
About reasons for things I do,
And now I know that they led me,
To find so much love and glee…
To find the best person ever alive,
The only reason I want to survive,
The one I learn from and turn to,
The one I have given my heart to…


© Evronia Azer, 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

[Poem] Proud of You

Proud of You
Poem #230
Written 3.11.09

When I see people talking to you,
And how much they admire you,
Or when I hear them speak of you,
Saying good stuff about you,
I nod, smile and silently agree,
Feeling so proud deep inside me,
As if your success is totally mine,
How or why… I can’t define!
I feel proud of you all the time,
Like you are part of who I am…
You needn’t do a great deed,
So that in my eyes you succeed,
I always see you great and whole,
Your soul is angelic, above all!
Your silence is more meaningful,
Than words that sound beautiful,
And the simplest things you do,
Make my dreams come true!
So be sure in whatever you do,
That I will always be proud of you!

© Evronia Azer, 2009. All Rights Reserved.