The Flower Bouquet
Poem #154
Written 7.4.2009
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I’ve had the urge to write poetry for a couple of days, and this urge has accumulated :) and suddenly I sat down and without any idea about how this poem will shape, I wrote the title, and began writing, with tears urging to come down at some parts, especially when Annie’s song played in my headphones, followed by the second piece of "winter" from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons…
I spent around an hour and a half, and I have an exam the next day! But I don’t care.. I produced a piece I have enjoyed writing thoroughly… a piece that I know I will be proud of till I die! I believe it’s the longest I’ve written so far, and I like all the emotions and feelings in it… every single line in this poem has a huge meaning for me, and a deep feeling… I will write analysis about this poem soon, about how it is connected this way, just as soon as I’m done with listening to all the feedback which I am expecting! And I want huge feedback please, I wish that everyone would tell me what he/she thinks! I really really need to know what you all think, and how you understand and see the poem.. coz I may have a vision that wasn’t transferred in the right way to you…
And now, what I can say is: I hope you’ll like it!
This poem is not based on a true story…
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I woke up today and I was full of cheer
I felt vibrant, like all my dreams are here
And when I heard the bell ring, I thought
The newspapers must have been brought
But when I opened the door, I saw before me
The most beautiful bouquet that could ever be
Full of flowers, in all my favourite colours
But one strange flower lay amidst all others
I took a deep breath and held the bouquet
Why did this flower look so pale and grey?
Then I saw a purple letter on that dead tulip
And as I understood, I felt my heard could rip
I read the words “I love you” on the letter
They didn’t feel the same…they were bitter
Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I read
And as I saw the goodbyes, my heart felt dead
You were leaving, to some place far away…
You wanted me to go on finding my own way
You asked me to be so happy and so free
And that’s why you didn’t want to keep me
You said life is hard, and I deserved better
By that, I couldn’t complete the rest of the letter
I knew things were never going to be the same
Deep inside me, I felt I was the one to blame
I should have never pushed or asked you
To do anything you didn’t want to do
You thought if you go away things will differ
But just the thought of it made me shiver
How could I ever live without you near?
How am I going to face life alone with no fear?
I wanted to write back to tell you I need you
I was aching and hurting, but I already knew
You weren’t going to change your mind
And I knew that my life with sadness will bind
I only want you in my life… coz you make it shine
I only want your heart to be inside mine
You were hard on yourself for my own sake
But all this is my own unwise mistake
I went to my room, closed the door and wept
This truth was so hard for me to accept
The next thing I felt, I was asleep in my bed…
I woke up like a dull soul in a body that’s dead…
Realizing the flower bouquet was just a dream
That was somehow better than it would seem
I thought of this as I recalled my present
“NO!” I screamed, “NOO, don’t tell me he went..”
And the vision of black silhouettes and sad faces
Filled the room and all the other places
I suddenly remembered; things became clear
You’re gone for good, you’re not here…
What will happen to me without you now?
I didn’t care about myself, as long as I kept our vow…
“Honey you’re still here, you’re never gone…
Nothing will take you away from me, even death
You’ve always been my guide, my sun..
We’ve shared every instant, every breath…
You made my life shine, you fulfilled me,
I know that I will always live inside your heart…
And you know that I’ll never be free
You’re still here, you will never depart…
But right now, I’ll grieve and take some time
To listen to sad tunes, and write my sad rhyme
Until we meet again in the afterlife…”
