She never asked for anything, why would she?! She never felt she deserved what she had in the first place. Her hopes went down with every person who had let her down in her life, so she stopped hoping for anything…
She unintentionally dedicated all her time to others, she felt she only did what she had to do. She thought that she can truly live by loving others; those who were never loved. She appreciated those who were unloved most, and tried to send each one of them a message of love, even if she didn’t know them.
Others thought of her as a hero, and with everyone who told her so, she felt fake and pretending. She never did anything to seek attention, she sought many simple things in her life and failed, so she stopped seeking any feelings or actions, and attention was something she didn’t care about much.
A simple word could make her cry; no matter how solid from the outside she appeared. The people around her who truly knew her were very few, and they knew how soft she was. But she knew she was strong, and she believed strength doesn’t contradict with softness, she had both, and dealt with every situation with the suitable emotion and attitude.
Even though many people around her made her feel successful and heroic, she still felt small and sad, she still engaged herself in the life of others because her own life didn’t mean anything anymore. Many tough days in her life caused her to lose her ego, individualism and will to live for her own.
She wished everyone would know her real self, so that they stop hurting her. She wished they would know that on some days all she needed was a hug, but she hated to feel pathetic either. She was strong and determined and would always remain so. She only wanted to be loved with no fake faces around her, no deceit, or unfulfilled promises. That’s all…
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